During my recent vacation to Mexico I had the opportunity to try archery for the first time. I was hesitant at first and it took me some time to start hitting the target but sure enough, after a little practice, I was getting closer and closer to the bullseye.
This new experience made me think about some of my life coaching clients and how easy it is to be too critical of yourself when trying something new or to take another shot after an initial miss. If you don’t give yourself a chance to fail and learn from it you will never have the chance to succeed. I’d like to encourage you not to give yourself a hard time; sometimes you win, sometimes you learn. So be persistent! Take that next shot.
Don’t Be Afraid to Take That First Shot
New experiences help us grow and learn about ourselves. You find what you like, what you don’t like, and what helps you build a full and happy life. But there can be times when you defeat yourself before even getting started. Maybe you create reason you shouldn’t, worry about failing, compare yourself to others, or fear what others will think of you. You must clear your mind of these negative thoughts because they will only hold you back.
We can’t be expected to be perfect our first time doing anything. So let go of any preconceptions and give yourself a fair chance. Take running for example. If you haven’t run long distances before (or even trained) you can’t be expected to run a 5k. But don’t let that stop you from getting out there and going on that first run, or walk. Give yourself the freedom to try the new experience and take it all in for what it is instead of what you think it should be. You will learn a lot more about yourself this way, but you’ll never know until you try.
The Life Coach Says: If It’s Important, You WILL Find a Way
So your first shot was a miss, what do you do now? To succeed in your life goals, small and large, you will most likely have to try more than once. That’s okay! If you really want something, persistence is very important. You are on your own path. Comparing it to someone else’s – or even to your initial expectations – will likely lead to feelings of doubt or even failure.
Instead of being too critical of yourself, step back and think about what you did, what the outcome was, and what you could change to make it different next time. Reevaluate your goals, making sure they are workable, reasonable ones. If it’s important you WILL find a way. If not, you will find an excuse.
I’m sure you can recall Thomas Edison’s response to a critic about his failures while trying to invent the lightbulb. He said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Wow, now that is persistence!
We are human and we are all beautiful, creative, and unique individuals. If you can view your mistakes as tools for learning and moving forward, they become empowering instead of a negative weight holding you back. There is no need to feel defeated or give up, you will find what you need to succeed.
So with a view of purpose instead of self punishment we can keep trying, learning, and adjusting until we hit the bullseye.
WOW, I Hit the Bullseye!
Congratulations. At this moment step back to enjoy the accomplishment but also remember what you did to get you there. This is the important part, because now you can do it again, and again, and again. Or maybe you take what you have learned and move the target back a little further. Either way, you have built up the tools needed to continue to succeed in this aspect of your life.
This happens in our personal relationships all the time but probably goes unnoticed. Think back to a time when you made a child smile, your partner laugh, or were thanked by a friend. This means you hit the bullseye with them! Don’t let the importance of these moments slip away.
Remember how you can support and improve your personal relationships and they will grow stronger and stronger. Read my previous post on what I believe is the #1 key to any relationship to learn more about this topic.
10 Daily Rituals
With this new perspective of positive progression and learning from the actions you take, start to think about the little things that set you up to have the most successful day possible.
- Do you like to workout before starting your day or do you prefer to spend the mornings reading or with family?
- Are you more successful if you eat a full breakfast or when you get an early start to your day?
- Maybe taking a walk in the evenings helps you sleep better, or having a good conversation with you partner over dinner brings your day to a satisfying end.
A Harvard Business School study revealed remarkable statistics relating to goal setting and success. The study found that the 14% who have goals are 10 times more successful than those without goals. The 3% with written goals are 3 times more successful than the 14% with unwritten goals.
Write down your 10 daily rules, or rituals, that set you up to be your best self. As discussed in my post Change Your Life: Raise Your Standards, these daily rituals should be different than your short term and long term goals; they are the things that keep you on track to achieve those goals. Don’t get bogged down! Write whatever comes to mind, try to follow it for a few days, then reflect and adjust. Before you know it you will have created a solid daily routine that is aimed directly at your bullseye.
Life Coaching for Hitting Your Target
Many of my clients have told me that working with me through Life Coaching has given them the opportunity to discover their values, be intentional about their goals and to make a plan, taking action to realize goals. Here are some of the things my clients say they’ve gained as a result of working with me**:
- Self Confidence
- Self Awareness
- Ability to go outside their comfort zone
- A feeling of fulfillment
- An alliance with me
- New perspectives
- The ability to stay focused
- Better decision making ability
- Peace & contentment
- The ability to see themselves in a positive way
*Name has been changed to protect Life Coaching client confidentiality.
**All bullets above drawn directly from my many happy client testimonials. Read all of my Life Coaching testimonials here.
Life Coaching will give you the concrete strategies you need to keep you on track in achieving your goals. Many of my clients say I’ve helped them tap into their most deeply-held values and encouraged them to have more self-confidence in going after what they want. I have helped clients start new careers, businesses and projects based on the things they are most passionate about. Contact me to schedule your complimentary 30-minute session. We can begin to chart a course into a fresh start together.
If you feel you’re going through the motions and missing the mark, the hardest step is committing to change and focusing on what brings you true joy. If you are craving an on-target life full of joy and fulfillment, consider working with me through Life Coaching. With the right tools, navigated conversations and the intention to create something great, you can discover ways to live your best life. Let’s get started now on identifying what you want and find a way to get you there.
Contact me for a complimentary, no-obligations life coaching consultation to discuss the possibilities. Or use the Appointment Scheduler and pick a time that works for you. I coach 90% of my clients over the phone, and my DC-based Life Coaching clients have the option of meeting with me in person.