Career Coaching: My Boss is a Bully

at-desk-flippedMy life coaching client “Marty” was discouraged and depressed by the constant hassle and micro-managing she had at work. Nothing was ever good enough for the director of her department. The director in turn was pressured by her boss to meet the company goals and deadlines. Marty was told that she did not work fast enough or efficiently enough, therefore the department was not able to meet its goals. Marty felt worthless, had lost confidence, had no social life and was always tired. It seemed as though the success of the organization rested squarely on her shoulders.

When Marty came to life coaching with me, she began by saying, “my boss is a bully.” She wondered how she could change her boss because Marty couldn’t afford to change her job.  If the boss were a better manager Marty was sure her work would be better. The “bully” approach upset her and was counter-productive. Yet, having a confrontation was risky. Marty needed to stay where she was and not be fired for upsetting her department.

The Change Starts With Me

Marty and I worked to acknowledge that she was the only person responsible for the choices she made in life. Through life coaching, she came to accept that she could not change her boss’s behavior. But together we discovered several small steps Marty could take that would create some changes with her boss and her work environment. Marty developed a plan that connected with her life purpose and setting some long range goals that aligned with her values. For the short-term, Marty used the co-active strategy to define how she wanted to “be” and then took the action to reach each goal that we set together. This helped Marty feel in control instead of being controlled.

Marty’s situation is an excellent example. Like many I have worked with, she let fear and self-doubt ruin her work and private life. Through life coaching, we were able to examine the results she wanted for herself in one month and in six months. We created goals together that were specific, measurable, challenging and resonated with her values.

The first step in getting anywhere is deciding you are no longer willing to stay where you are.

I believe that by working collaboratively we can change our lives one day at a time through life coaching. My clients come to coaching with the belief that they have everything within themselves to create the life they’ve always dreamed of. They are teachable, they are powerful, and they can change their situation for the better. They are not victims of their circumstances, but authors of their own destiny. With the right tools, a few powerful questions and the intention to create something great, together we can get to where we want to be.

Contact me for a complimentary, no-obligations life coaching consultation to discuss the possibilities. Or use the Appointment Scheduler and pick a time that works for you. I coach 90% of my clients over the phone, and my DC-based Life Coaching clients have the option of meeting with me in person.