“Any time not spent on love is wasted.” – Torquato Tasso (1544-1595)
Why Spend Time on Love?
Love brings us so much happiness and peace because the need for it lies at the very foundation of our existence. However capable and skillful we may be, left alone we will not survive. However vigorous and independent you may feel, if you’ve ever been very sick or injured, you know: we all need the support of others at some level. In our current COVID world, our interconnectedness is more evident than ever – from essential workers to the supply chain, no human being is an island. Our very survival depends on it. As a species, we just can’t shake this vital need for community.
Since love is so important, I put together a step-by-step plan to help you spread more of it around.
How to Love More, Step-by-Step
- Self-Love. Before we can share love, we need to experience it so we know what it is. The best way to do this is by sending some love to ourselves. Most of us are our own worst critics, a habit that is hard to break. If you notice that you are being hyper-critical of others, it’s a red flag to check and see how you might be talking to yourself. If you find yourself being selfish, take stock of where your “self” is being denied. Focus more on self-affirming thoughts and behaviors. Schedule some time doing something you love for its own sake.
- Practice Gratitude. Unfortunately, it sometimes feels like everyone is in a competition to see who can feel the most tired, overwhelmed, or victimized. We complain a lot, even wearing our negative experiences like a badge of honor. But when we spend time complaining and worrying, we forget all the things that are going well. Take some time to slow down and think about all the positive things in your life.
- Just Say “No” to “Go, Go, Go.” A huge part of self-love is allowing ourselves the rest and recovery that we need. According to the CDC, more than a third of American adults are not getting enough sleep on a regular basis. Exhaustion is sometimes even praised in our culture, but it’s not healthy – it keeps us in “fight-or-flight” mode, instead of the less widely acknowledged “rest-and-digest.” No wonder we are all so often triggered! Recently, the gymnast Simone Biles publicly accepted and acknowledged her body’s need for rest, which drew mixed reviews, even outrage. Her ability to say “no” shows that you can be strong and successful, and still prioritize rest. In this way, slowing down is a radical act of resistance to a culture that thrives on pushing us to our limits.
- Practice Empathy. Emotion researchers generally define empathy as the ability to sense other people’s emotions, coupled with the ability to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling. Empathy can also give you the motivation you need to make a difference in someone’s life or even in the world at large. The beautiful thing about empathy is that when others flourish, it improves your own life as well.
The Life Coach Says: Practice Love
This Valentine’s Day, I encourage you to celebrate love by scheduling some self-love in your calendar. Instead of a workout for fitness’s sake, try dance, yoga, or art. Walk around the block and notice the natural beauty all around. Don’t have a goal, just be present and notice the sights, sounds, smells, and textures. Start a gratitude journal, or list gratitudes as a family over dinner. Practice empathy by calling a friend just to listen, picking up litter in your neighborhood, or donating to a cause you care about. You might even plan to go to bed early and mindfully prioritize rest this Valentine’s Day! Do it and see how good you feel on February 15!
Spend more time on love, and in doing so, tap into your greatest power. Love begins with finding the space for and honoring those connections – to self, gratitude, others, even the planet.
Find sacredness in both being a part of something, and in standing alone to do what’s right when necessary. I believe that’s what real love requires us to do. The very future of our society might hang in the balance.
Need More Love in Your Life?
Spending more time on love might seem like a big task, but together, we can do it. Tapping into the power of love and our true power as human beings is what life coaching is all about. I am accepting a short list of new clients now. Schedule your free initial Life Coaching consultation today. We’ll chart the processes you need to harness your greatest power. Let’s explore how you can have what you want and live with more ease, freedom, joy and meaningful connection to those around you.
Not sure if Life Coaching is for you? Read Life Coaching testimonials from several of my happy clients here.
In my blog about Life Coaching vs. Therapy, I discussed the differences and reasons why you might want to hire me as your life coach.
Contact me for a complimentary, no-obligations life coaching consultation and we can work on making your life a more powerful, positive one together. Or use the Appointment Scheduler and pick a time that works for you for a phone consultation. I look forward to hearing from you.